You’re Not “Too Much.” You’re Just in the Wrong Room

I’ve been called a lot of things over the years. Intense. Too much. Extra. Dramatic. Always doing the most. And for a long time, I tried to tone myself down. Be less expressive. Dream smaller. Speak softer.

But no matter how much I tried to blend in, I felt like I was shrinking in rooms God never meant for me to stay in.

I’m a brainstormer. A builder. A catalyst. A strategist. I see potential everywhere and I get fired up when I see women walking in purpose. But for a long time, I was surrounded by people who didn’t understand that. They thought I was doing too much when really, they were doing too little.

That Time I Asked for $1 and Got a Reality Check

I was working in corporate, doing my job and then some. I was training others. Creating systems. Documenting workflows. I even put together a full-on presentation to show my manager the value I was bringing to the department and all because I was asking for a $1/hour raise.

His response?

“You need to keep proving yourself.” After everything I had done. After all the results and dedication I brought to the table, that was his answer.

That conversation happened on a Friday. I handed in my resignation on Monday.

I didn’t have another job lined up. I didn’t have a backup plan. But I knew I couldn’t stay in a space that refused to recognize what I carried. Not out of pride, but out of obedience.

When people asked why I would leave a “steady job with benefits,” I just smiled. The truth is that they weren’t called to my purpose, I was.

You’re Not Too Much. You’re Misassigned.

If you’re constantly feeling the need to shrink, quiet down, or dilute who you are so others can be comfortable, you’re not overreacting, you’re in the wrong environment.

God didn’t call you to stay in rooms that can’t hold the weight of your assignment. And He certainly didn’t anoint you to keep proving your worth to people who already made up their minds not to see you.

If that room can’t recognize your value, release it. If that leader can’t hear your voice, it’s time to find the table that does or create your own table.

You’re not “too much.” You’re too called to stay small.

3 Coaching Tips to Walk Boldly in Who You Are

1. Don’t Dim Your Strength, Refocus It Your big ideas, passion, and presence were designed to challenge the status quo. Instead of shrinking, ask God to direct your energy toward purpose-filled environments. You weren’t made to blend in. You were made to break ground.

Ask yourself: Where do I feel like I’m hiding or holding back? That’s the space that needs to shift or be released.

2. Don’t Let Rejection Become Your Blueprint That old job, that overlooked opportunity, that person who didn’t choose you. It's not the final word. Rejection is often redirection. Let it teach you, but don’t let it define you.

Action step: Write down 3 places you’ve been rejected that actually pushed you closer to purpose. Your perspective needs proof that God was guiding, even when it hurt.

3. Find Your Right Room, Then Build In It The right room will stretch you but not suffocate you. It will challenge you but also celebrate what you carry.

And if you can’t find the room? Build it. Start the business. Host the gathering. Launch the vision. Don’t wait for someone else to make space. Move forward in obedience.

Reminder: Your calling won’t always be understood, but it will be confirmed by peace and fruit.

Final Word

You are not too loud, too ambitious, too intense, too strategic, too passionate, too honest, or too faith-filled.

You are exactly who God designed for the people you’re called to serve.

The only ones calling you "too much" are the ones not equipped to carry what you’re bringing.

So stop shrinking. Stop explaining. Stop trying to fit into spaces that keep trying to shrink your capacity.

You’re not too much. You’re just in the wrong room. And it’s time to move.